The Pet Career

Andrew is compelled and inspired by darkness
But after three botched efforts is still ridiculed
By people and believes he has little to lose

He is struggling to resurrect his kitten
Higher than seemed imaginable 15 years ago
"I must give it more and more drug," he said

Exposed to everyday fortunes and setbacks
Andrew will eat their heart lungs liver and kidneys
But is also growing cats for the developing world

--Martin Stannard

E17 singer Harvey on Eurovision shortlist
Obesity drug launched for fat dogs
Vaughan relies on basic instincts

Another Chopper Down

Prince Charles made a "hard landing" today.
He handed out traditional combat injuries
in a swift military violation of his wife.

The problem heiress was evacuated to a hotbed
pending family notification and a hefty fine.
She expressed disbelief Charles would withdraw.

Camilla was pulled over late Tuesday night.
There was no word on the extent of surveillance.
Ample coverage could have nasty consequences.

--Rupert M Loydell

Prince Charles visits troops
A New Day For Paris – In Jail?
Military says another chopper down -- Not hostile fire

Atheist's Party High

She didn't sample the food
She was not at risk of catching the illness
She has been placed on medical leave

She didn't sample the food
She complained of trouble after filling up
She appears to be juddering and misfiring

She didn't sample the food
She signed the order creating religion
She shouldn't be allowed to sue the government

--Rupert M Loydell

Faulty fuel calls on rise
Beyonce not at Hep A risk -- Didn't eat party food
High court hears case of faith-based funding

Spontaneous Sell-Off Consequences

killing free radicals only interferes with survival
Critics doubt whether oxidative stress even exists
no effect – positive or negative – on survival

might actually increase the risk of death
a landmark global study has found
does not know how to protect its industries

disavowed some severe capital market restrictions
indicating the flight from global equities slowing
eliminating free radical “messenger molecules”

--Clark Allison

Airbus to Cut 10,000 Jobs Over 4 Years
Overseas Markets Continue Downward Slide
Vitamins could be killing you

Illegal Pirated Genocide

Gordon the Bosnian video-sharing cabinet
Failed to discuss genocide with Bremner
And ordered justice for BitTorrent

Gordon the Bosnian video-sharing cabinet
Exonerated Ubisoft early on Monday
Downloading songs by Muslims

Gordon the Bosnian video-sharing cabinet
Rang the Chancellor to direct justice games
But once rang failed suspects to prevent a reshuffle

--Will Scott

Court: Serbia failed to prevent genocide
Is it legal to impersonate a minister?
BitTorrent to offer movies, TV shows for downloading

No Rodents Tomorrow

In a city like New York,
Vermin seemingly caught on tape,
Invaded a former playboy body.

In a city like New York,
Rodent officials focus on Sky News interview.
In the morgue a probing derailment.

In a city like New York,
Patrons do not see creatures.
They will be distributed to the endless wage.

--Kelly Tapper

New York food establishments wage war against rodents
U.K. Rail Crash Report Due as Early as Tomorrow
Still no rest for poor Anna

Regulator Snipes Back

Critics arguing were lost hopefuls and fat children
Critics arguing would not appeal to corrupt FBI agents
Critics arguing leave broadcasters jumping ship

Critics arguing mean that the government's successful
Critics arguing confirmed that media junk rules
Critics arguing veto a shootout at Pine Ridge Reservation

Critics arguing has become impermissible
Critics arguing will be banned from January 1, 2008
Critics arguing was one of the primary reasons for the Fall

--Martin Stannard

Ukip told it cannot change its name
Junk food ban will cost U.K. TV
Why Geffen Dislikes Clintons--Meet Leonard Peltier

Microsoft Spanking Britney

For 24 hours Microsoft kicks, throws shoe,
chokes Britney for offenses.
Mother punishable for patent verdict.

Anyone involving troubled technology
retreated, shaking, and proposed San Diego
instead of digital custody, iPod jail.

1.52 billion baby objects offered for
18 closed fist firms, lawmaker said.
Estranged music threatened massive failing.

--Robert Woerheide

Proposal to ban spanking is revised
Microsoft fined US $1.52b in MP3 case
Britney Spears Wants The Kids, Can’t Escape Rehab

Peace Not Contest

We were dressed in cream and silver but put off by
The hundreds of genuinely interested other artists
Who phoned in before apparently becoming involved

In an illegal war they had no chance of winning
We were dressed in cream and silver but put off by
A banner on the back of the large black police lorry

It said the timing wasn't right to make the argument
Peace and protest had been plausible in previous years
We were dressed in cream and silver but not put off

--Martin Stannard

C4 facing huge phone bill
Eubank arrested after protest over prince's deployment
Morrissey says 'no' to Eurovision

Delivery Wants Repair

Children in Eden
Desperate girls doing E!
Tied doubled to Cross

Record-setting retraction
Progress jettisoning crewmen
Cutting tie and retract outpost

On their disorder
Psychiatric attention developed
Guides and drugmakers needed

--Steve Donovan

Marcia Cross' Dual Delivery
FDA Wants Clear Warnings on ADHD Drugs
Spacewalkers Repair Antenna Near Outpost

Investors Trouble Points

The company will pay and will assume millions of debt.
Investors applauded the announcement
then adorned the kids with some new tattoo work.

Due to apparent instability
tonight should be clear with
a bitter cherry on the already spoiled cake.

The deal seems to be a positive
and the paparazzi was subsequently seen partying.
Shareholders reportedly canceled plans.

--Rupert M Loydell

Weather service points to high winds
Whole Foods Delights Investors -- For Now
Britney Spears, A Mommy In Trouble

Gates Contaminated Girls

American researchers report
according to parliament data
purchased media be discarded

analyzed a variety of girls
they were over sexualised
emotional and physical problems

a warning to all consumers
of harmful media objects
vaccine maybe developed

--Melissa Gray

FDA Warns of Salmonella-Contaminated Peanut Butter
Media cited for showing girls as sex objects
Gates joins Canada in AIDS fight

Three Million Sandwich

Almost everyday snow storms stranded,
Slowed momentum too long,
For tarmac travellers, hunched, safe still.

Ice skills at keyhole.
Move forward, step toward,
Introduce and cancel.

Blue delay, promising action,
Repairing reputation, staving off pushing.
Sitting with thoughts and apologies.

--Patrick Davies

Class-action peanut butter suit filed in Seattle
Surgical success linked to skill at video games
JetBlue vows to compensate delayed fliers

Lighting Ivory Moon

Like a giant incandescent trampoline,
A patiently waiting ancient downlight hangs,
Historic ivory fluorescents.

Fascinated millions capture lunar lights,
Intelligent creatures, watchers, like upside down trees,
In both living and dead reality.

Their sentinel mission of refuge to settle,
Install, establish homes amidst the bayous habitat,
And last much longer.

--Patrick Davies

Upside to down lighting
Moon Settlers May Be "Ski" Racers, Helium Miners, TV Stars
Robotic Cameras Join Search For Ivory-billed Woodpecker

The Happy Version

Wait to be a part of stars
To come away from
This truly amazing us

To live is what honours
Lighting the field
Is an honour

Who best prizes the Holy
Will do anything
To be steeped in this

--Martin Stannard

Muse to headline at Isle of Wight
Mark Speaks About Robbie
Sondheim triumphs at Olivier Awards