Few Nevertheless Pocketable

merely hordes to meddling bought
perfectly rip to scrambling broke
naturally shelves to sliding engage

actually nicks to menacing ripped
in twaddle cans eleven of putative
to angels elevated from capable

boozy surged the that myriad beer
arcane starved the that secret retreat
to matter antimatter with actual

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Partyers rush to stock up on Four Loko
Foreign takeover of Ireland's banks is now real solution
Has CERN made the VATICAN ANTIMATTER BOMB for real?

Cat Food Cooperative

Food has always been an obsession
for the least advantaged in society.
Avoid those obscene holiday pounds!

Never arrive at a bank hungry.
Cat treats are pretty tasty, so
beforehand, have one helping.

Snack with panache on a plate.
Graze on a long trail of austerity.
Remember, cat food will fill you up.

-- Angela Genusa

Savage Austerity
Avoid Weight Gain Over the Holidays
Katie Price is Pretty in Pink

Domestic Cheese Speak

Some 12 million marketing pimps teamed up
with a national organization to devise a plan
called "Cheese Austerity," said the Grand Minister

of Fromage in a statement to The New York Times
yesterday. "No more free cheese!" he trumpeted.
From Philadelphia to Fiji, jaws hit the floor.

Do not be alarmed, said some big cheese who spoke on
network TV, for there is light at the end of the tunnel:
cheesier sex, cheesier drugs, and cheesier rock 'n' roll.

-- Angela Genusa

"Hawaii Five-O": This is what hit TV looks like
US issues warnings on fat but pushes cheese sales
'Let them eat cheese' approach fails to butter up electorate

Hands-free Musical Safety

Here's a quick look at the equation:
Immaterial invisible waves
synchronized clocks.

Attempts at marking the end of time
varied from useless to laughable,
and back we fall once again.

Still, pointlessness seems all so pointless.
We're not a completely made up thing.
We're big. We're splashy. We've got rhythm.

-- Scott Stoller

Sorting out daylight-saving time, time zones, time travel
Kinectrospective: A Brief History of Controller-Free Gaming
Costly ‘Spider-Man’ Can’t Get Off the Ground

Election Day SmackDown!

Everyone, the results are pouring in tonight:
Rod Stewart got voted off "Rotting
and Decomposing with the Liberals";

Mary Poppins and Bristol Palin are safe
from elimination on "Traveling Circus of Fools";
but Taylor Swift is in jeopardy on "Skating

With the Ill-Educated Drooling Republican
Rednecks." Americans, stand up and bow
your heads for a moment of silence: 11/02/2010.

-- Angela Genusa

WWE SmackDown! Results
Who Got Voted Off Dancing With the Stars
Why European liberals see tea party as 'a circus of fools'

Revealing Halloween Trauma

Well, aren’t you a little horror story?
A trick or treating celebrity train wreck.
You're really never too old

to be a victim of hazardous mishaps,
cowering naked and delusional
in Manhattan restaurant bathrooms,

slugging cocaine and vodka
'til your fingers fall off
from the lack of continuous circulation.

-- Scott Stoller

Horror Stories From Space
Teens defend their right to trick-or-treat
Coke and no smile for naked Sheen

On Circling Home

To forget waiting, sun hours walk about the neighborhoods
where years pull. A radio flashlight bending out the orbit
will spot your edge: Clothing safer to paint around.

Don't forget the sun. Always walk on the corner,
where the pull of radio waves bending under the road
will make your heavy clothing easier to carry around.

Don't delay. The palace always turns on its corner
when the mask of homage waves. Cars under collapsed road
miles make stars heavy, as easier astronomers carry on.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Sheriff: Halloween safety tips
Neutron star size determined
Argentina's power couple torn by death

Extensive Strawberry Outbursts

Command promoting buzzwords
have ceased to be cultivated.
Public bad manners

and criminal mischief
created the near perfect storm,
regionally becoming unstoppable.

Feed on reliable apples.
Your much ballyhooed mental health program
is a yearlong trip to Disney.

-- Scott Stoller

11 bodies, one house of horrors
Ex-flight attendant blames 'perfect storm of bad manners'
Before the Mac, Vintage Apples

Alienating Alleged Applicants

Think that we know obscurity?
Some opinions aren't grounded in reality.
Let's separate facts from fables:

We've blackmailed billionaire heiresses.
Swallowed entire empires.
Fused celebrity and forgery in novel new ways.

Raised red flags to the stratosphere.
Supported many sides in a many-sided war.
We're the biggest Achilles' heel of all.

-- Scott Stoller

Five myths about Sarah Palin
The Heiresses and the Cult
Bad online and cellphone habits can hurt your career

Explosive Gay Nun

I am an offensive saint.
I was engaged to World War II,
when the relationship was briefly excommunicated.

Boy George vindicated Bill O’Reilly
and involved a scandalous confession:
Their love gained condemnation of the rural poor.

Australia wants to Intimidate Japanese Muslims;
As a hypocritical nun
I like to insult everyone.

-Laura Beason

Bill O'Reilly on "my explosive" appearance on "The View"
Gavin Rossdale Admits To Gay Fling With Singer Marilyn
Nun whose order fought abuse becomes saint

Era of Fight

September screwed up my life, really.
6 a.m. and I want ecstasy.
“Hit this,” I pushed.

Drugs are monsters, bare and fearsome.
Violating my probation,
I am trapped underground like central China.

I am the majestic cannibal,
the unpleasant animal that bites its brother’s flesh.
Frequent feeding is not only for herbivores.

- Erin N. Sampson

Was the T-Rex a Cannibal?
21 Are Killed in Explosion at China Mine
TI Sentenced to 11 Months in Jail

The Notorious Unlikely

Surreal cartography is a nonchronological season.
It's like nonfiction: true, but unsuccessfully.
(No, this is not really cartography;

I just wandered outside for a second.
Ironically striking exactly the right theme.)
The dream underworld is unsympathetic with this critique.

Joining the Cincinnati Reds with Castro's? Why not?
Even Shakespeare the caustic realist
dabbled in Latin and harmless magic.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Roy Halladay Throws No-Hitter in Playoff Debut
Peruvian writer/politician Mario Vargas Llosa wins Nobel Prize in Literature
Hungary toxic sludge reaches Danube branch

God Hates Honeybees

Who carried signs such as "God Hates Honeybees,"
"Fag Entomologists" and "Thank God for America's
Dead Honeybees"? Outrageous!

In Iraq, I was irked by a swamp rabbit, and now I am
throwing up at a conference on genetically modified
food that is killing off heterosexuals as punishment.

There is still a certain uncomfortable symbolism when
God, a fag, is decorating the floor with a major murder
suspect—1,000 feet from the free world.

-- Angela Genusa

Don't you know who I am? Obama loses seal of authority
Phelps's 'Outrageous' Free Speech
Possible Cause of Bee Die-Off Is Found

out of office

perhaps       a     holidaymaker
had     chosen     to     set     fire
to   his   ailing   father   rather

than   stir   passions   on   an
excursion   to     france   with
a         reclusive           general

whose         sole         intention
was       an       act       of     vice
in       the     grand       pavilion

-- Richard Mason

NKorea media say Kim Jong Un joins father at drill
West Bank mosque set on fire in attack
Sad end of the 'peerless pier'

Experimental Gossip Condoms

What have our teenagers done? A bad thing?
Their partners help men catch huge new orgasms.
They ask what do sex acts have to do with vagina.

Boys and girls say that vaginal intercourse is included
in their telephone activities. And scientists achieve truth
with a plethora of sexual relations.

Flesh and blood women are more likely to be swindled,
due to the nation’s condoms being better for sex these days.
You know, Americans have become more experimental.

-- Tom Lewis

Gossip from Manhattan & Beltway to Hollywood & Valley
Experimental Sex Practiced More Often Now in U.S.
US teens use more condoms than adults