Freeview Asylum Troubles

Residents sent on an awayday
during the home secretary’s genocide
fear losing new TV programmes.

Survivors of Boris Johnson’s domestic troubles
declared Priti Patel a ‘direct threat’
in contrast to the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Putin must retune to unlock a new tomorrow,
will head straight to the settings menu
and perform a weapons upgrade.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Why it took the UK a long time to become a Russia hawk
Freeview users must retune to unlock new channel
Genocide survivors moved out of hostel for Priti Patel

All the Zeros

Inflation began as a boredom cure for Boris Johnson
but can viral success ever be a substitute for hard graft
or a spiraling route to a no-confidence vote?

Shoppers find it hard to swallow MP comedians
and the social media mood has turned against them.
Everyone seems depressed and nihilistic all the time.

Supermarket stardom has become a viable alternative
to dog food, coffee and cat food: readers are reporting
shelf shock, and far more pains are now inevitable.

-- Rupert M Loydell

TikTok hopefuls trying to make it big in comedy
Fines issued as PM warned no-confidence vote inevitable
Shelf shock: soaring supermarket prices

Toxic Forensic Controversy

courting controversy need a long-term solution
right documentation horrendous genocide small African
country claimants bizarrely not returned to UK

a toxic political issue struck a deal fisheries agency
salmon and trout relations unravelling
livelihood of northern regions disputed islands

called to reports of a shooting just after 3am
five gunshots and screaming teenage girl
a cluster of forensic markers where the roads meet

-- Clark Allison

Residents heard 'five gunshots and screaming' as teenage girl was hit
Japan, Russia sign fishing deal despite Ukraine tensions
Sending refugees to Rwanda is tough, but it isn’t sensible

Voices are Raised

It’s hard to concentrate at home
but don’t hold your breath:
the floor is covered in shame.

Whatever scientists do now
they will be forever followed
but nothing can make them go.

People speak louder and compensate
so I am decamping to the garden.
This is the only way to work from home.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Shutting the door on crumbs, scattered toys and unmade beds
Study reveals why voices are raised on video calls
Shame will cling to Johnson and Sunak

Potent Preparation Measures

doesn’t allow for that kind of immersion
fever dream enthralling dark space narcotic quality
the experience wasn’t as potent edgy awkward off the street

several convoys of military equipment eastern Ukraine
seen travelling along T2104 highway preparation
for a renewed offensive revelations from satellite images

Putin destroyed ruble heavily sanctioned country’s invasion
measures designed to keep currency afloat
controls on system tough rules on exporters

-- Clark Allison

Russia's economy in tatters as 'Putin has destroyed the ruble'
Ukraine war: Russian forces amass in the east
The meaning of Taxi Driver