The Negative Plus

In the continuing feud between Visa and Microsoft
to trademark the world's richest dog, one company
issued a warning to allegedly cunning children

who have taken to looking all "3-D":
"We are going after everyone in Japan."
And e-mailed the reciprocal disclaimer:

"3-D art" could be "three-dimensional," but also perhaps
"three-day," as in "a three-day, two-dimensional,
hand-held rubber-stamping event."

--Glenn R. Frantz

U.S. Revokes Venezuelan Ambassador's Visa
Nintendo Issues 3-D Game Warning for Children
Paul Allen refiles to sue the world

Loosely Imagined Relations

"The man who is repeatedly indulging in thinking
is usually bewildered about his experiences."
-- Confucius

"Anonymity was heralded with a cash award,
but who could have collected it?"
-- Anonymous

"Just as eating is a riposte to food,
the attacker of the principle tends to feel drunk."
-- Carnegie

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Assange allies claim scalps in online warfare
Want to Eat Less? Imagine Eating More
China's Confucius peace prize has chaotic launch

Few Nevertheless Pocketable

merely hordes to meddling bought
perfectly rip to scrambling broke
naturally shelves to sliding engage

actually nicks to menacing ripped
in twaddle cans eleven of putative
to angels elevated from capable

boozy surged the that myriad beer
arcane starved the that secret retreat
to matter antimatter with actual

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Partyers rush to stock up on Four Loko
Foreign takeover of Ireland's banks is now real solution
Has CERN made the VATICAN ANTIMATTER BOMB for real?

Cat Food Cooperative

Food has always been an obsession
for the least advantaged in society.
Avoid those obscene holiday pounds!

Never arrive at a bank hungry.
Cat treats are pretty tasty, so
beforehand, have one helping.

Snack with panache on a plate.
Graze on a long trail of austerity.
Remember, cat food will fill you up.

-- Angela Genusa

Savage Austerity
Avoid Weight Gain Over the Holidays
Katie Price is Pretty in Pink

Domestic Cheese Speak

Some 12 million marketing pimps teamed up
with a national organization to devise a plan
called "Cheese Austerity," said the Grand Minister

of Fromage in a statement to The New York Times
yesterday. "No more free cheese!" he trumpeted.
From Philadelphia to Fiji, jaws hit the floor.

Do not be alarmed, said some big cheese who spoke on
network TV, for there is light at the end of the tunnel:
cheesier sex, cheesier drugs, and cheesier rock 'n' roll.

-- Angela Genusa

"Hawaii Five-O": This is what hit TV looks like
US issues warnings on fat but pushes cheese sales
'Let them eat cheese' approach fails to butter up electorate

Hands-free Musical Safety

Here's a quick look at the equation:
Immaterial invisible waves
synchronized clocks.

Attempts at marking the end of time
varied from useless to laughable,
and back we fall once again.

Still, pointlessness seems all so pointless.
We're not a completely made up thing.
We're big. We're splashy. We've got rhythm.

-- Scott Stoller

Sorting out daylight-saving time, time zones, time travel
Kinectrospective: A Brief History of Controller-Free Gaming
Costly ‘Spider-Man’ Can’t Get Off the Ground

Election Day SmackDown!

Everyone, the results are pouring in tonight:
Rod Stewart got voted off "Rotting
and Decomposing with the Liberals";

Mary Poppins and Bristol Palin are safe
from elimination on "Traveling Circus of Fools";
but Taylor Swift is in jeopardy on "Skating

With the Ill-Educated Drooling Republican
Rednecks." Americans, stand up and bow
your heads for a moment of silence: 11/02/2010.

-- Angela Genusa

WWE SmackDown! Results
Who Got Voted Off Dancing With the Stars
Why European liberals see tea party as 'a circus of fools'

Revealing Halloween Trauma

Well, aren’t you a little horror story?
A trick or treating celebrity train wreck.
You're really never too old

to be a victim of hazardous mishaps,
cowering naked and delusional
in Manhattan restaurant bathrooms,

slugging cocaine and vodka
'til your fingers fall off
from the lack of continuous circulation.

-- Scott Stoller

Horror Stories From Space
Teens defend their right to trick-or-treat
Coke and no smile for naked Sheen

On Circling Home

To forget waiting, sun hours walk about the neighborhoods
where years pull. A radio flashlight bending out the orbit
will spot your edge: Clothing safer to paint around.

Don't forget the sun. Always walk on the corner,
where the pull of radio waves bending under the road
will make your heavy clothing easier to carry around.

Don't delay. The palace always turns on its corner
when the mask of homage waves. Cars under collapsed road
miles make stars heavy, as easier astronomers carry on.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Sheriff: Halloween safety tips
Neutron star size determined
Argentina's power couple torn by death

Extensive Strawberry Outbursts

Command promoting buzzwords
have ceased to be cultivated.
Public bad manners

and criminal mischief
created the near perfect storm,
regionally becoming unstoppable.

Feed on reliable apples.
Your much ballyhooed mental health program
is a yearlong trip to Disney.

-- Scott Stoller

11 bodies, one house of horrors
Ex-flight attendant blames 'perfect storm of bad manners'
Before the Mac, Vintage Apples

Alienating Alleged Applicants

Think that we know obscurity?
Some opinions aren't grounded in reality.
Let's separate facts from fables:

We've blackmailed billionaire heiresses.
Swallowed entire empires.
Fused celebrity and forgery in novel new ways.

Raised red flags to the stratosphere.
Supported many sides in a many-sided war.
We're the biggest Achilles' heel of all.

-- Scott Stoller

Five myths about Sarah Palin
The Heiresses and the Cult
Bad online and cellphone habits can hurt your career

Explosive Gay Nun

I am an offensive saint.
I was engaged to World War II,
when the relationship was briefly excommunicated.

Boy George vindicated Bill O’Reilly
and involved a scandalous confession:
Their love gained condemnation of the rural poor.

Australia wants to Intimidate Japanese Muslims;
As a hypocritical nun
I like to insult everyone.

-Laura Beason

Bill O'Reilly on "my explosive" appearance on "The View"
Gavin Rossdale Admits To Gay Fling With Singer Marilyn
Nun whose order fought abuse becomes saint

Era of Fight

September screwed up my life, really.
6 a.m. and I want ecstasy.
“Hit this,” I pushed.

Drugs are monsters, bare and fearsome.
Violating my probation,
I am trapped underground like central China.

I am the majestic cannibal,
the unpleasant animal that bites its brother’s flesh.
Frequent feeding is not only for herbivores.

- Erin N. Sampson

Was the T-Rex a Cannibal?
21 Are Killed in Explosion at China Mine
TI Sentenced to 11 Months in Jail