No Rules Broken

The Christmas lights are twinkling under pressure
and there is the sight of scores of Conservative MPs
voting against public health measure proposed last week.

Many of us think we have a novel inside us:
because they want to keep partying,
Boris sees himself as an energetic fiddler.

Don’t start a sex scene when your mother-in-law is visiting,
it doesn’t make sense. Sleaze and parties turn voters off,
they have little festive cheer. Bring in all the precautions.

-- Rupert M Loydell

‘Don’t start a sex scene when your mother-in-law is visiting’: how I wrote a novel in a month
No 10 struggles to defend garden ‘party’ as poll shows Britons think PM on way out
‘I couldn’t vote Conservative again’: sleaze and parties turn Tory voters off

Headlines Remain Controversial

such huge change make sense of it for viewers listeners
readers what feels like decades’ worth of headlines
the most turbulent political times in living memory

said she was backing remain in Britain’s economic interest
to leave EU badly hit interests of businesses
communicate real impact on the ground doesn’t affect me

overall economy sweeping and controversial changes
to electoral system a new stage of restored order
erosion of democratic elements diverse political views

-- Clark Allison

Laura Kuenssberg to step down as BBC political editor
UK’s New Brexit Negotiator Said Leaving Would Spell Disaster
Pro-Beijing candidates sweep controversial LegCo election

Leaked Party Rules

Boris Johnson has not apologised
Boris Johnson has not ruled
Boris Johnson is minded to move

The PM said he was taking people for fools
The PM said no rules had been broken
The PM should just admit what had happened

Boris Johnson is a party joke
Boris Johnson is laughing at the Covid rules
Boris Johnson makes a mockery of us all

-- Rupert Loydell

Boris Johnson sorry for offence caused by aides joking
Downing Street party video makes a mockery of us all
Boris Johnson minded to move to Plan B of rules this week

Fools Breached Boycott

gale-force winds Tuesday flood alerts in place wreak chaos
in the wake of the storm captured local flooding extent
sea breached chalets surrounded by water

busy having boozy not-parties make light of
lockdown measures the impression it gives offence caused
millions think taking for fools assured no rules broken

not sending officials no ministers expected to attend
effectively diplomatic boycott American athletes will
compete China’s government said allegations fabricated

-- Clark Allison

Storm Barra leaves cars submerged as Scotland struck by rain
Allegra Stratton quits over Christmas party jokes
Boris Johnson confirms UK diplomatic boycott of 2022 Games

New Greasy Restrictions

Tougher measures including testing
will be introduced for arrivals from
Bonnie’s cafe in St George, Bristol.

The exemption of common fry-ups
has been welcomed. Contacts
said it was all about fried food.

Something of an institution,
symptoms in patients were mild
with symptoms that did not make sense.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Doctor explains Omicron Covid variant symptoms
Coalition leaders to discuss Omicron variant with Nphet
‘Greasy spoon’ cafes close doors as today’s diners shun fry-ups

Chill Zone Offers

bitter drop almost sent temperatures tumbling
mercury plunged took bone shaking chill
snow expected further wintry exception rather than rule

scrambled again warn away entered air defence zone
near the democratically governed island
broader area monitors patrols acts territorial air space

panning out the very best deals yet on hand throughout
deal-hunters handpicking best offers find a deal
help grab a bargain make a dent in shopping lists

-- Clark Allison

Black Friday 2021 - live
Taiwan scrambles to see off Chinese air force
UK weather – Brits brace for -10C icy plunge

Doctored Images Shared

A couple are spending hours hunting
for a specific type of eating disorder
but the claim is false: Marks & Spencer

is to provide children’s food, hot meal boxes
and salads to show the Prime Minister
a major part of the diet of Pope Francis.

As former commuters work more from home
mother is struggling to find any new locations.
Multiple Facebook posts have been shared.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Walkers crisp shortage leaves Leicestershire family desperate
M&S to provide sandwiches and hot food for Costa Coffee
Doctored images shared with false claim that Indian PM Modi took taxi to meet Pope Francis

This Week's Fix

Armed police have surrounded
one of your favourite jumpers.
We all know the feeling.

Have the moths been feasting?
Boris Johnson will investigate ways
of repairing a moth-eaten jumper

but did not comment on
Deputy Prime Minister Dominic Raab
repairing and upcycling treasured items.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Dominic Raab hails anticipated £96 billion rail investment plan
Live updates as armed police surround estate in Litherland
This week’s fix: repairing a moth-eaten jumper

Vaccine Diversely Stretches

trapped by floods in desperate need of food and water
intensively and diversely among places hardest hit
frantically scrambling to save animals from rising waters

set to boost vaccine manufacturing billion doses a year
public gatherings more than 100 people indoors
deaths in all regions remained stable or declined

migration every year of red crab population
mesmerising view taking over large stretches of roads
towards the ocean near the national park to mate and spawn

-- Clark Allison

Canada storm: air force arrives to help residents in British Columbia
Covid live news: fourth wave hitting Germany with ‘full force
Why 50 million crabs are shutting down roads in Australia

People Say I'm an Activist

His home had a promising future.
Officers searched closely, did police
after a man damaged his flat.

"I turned away but I expected to
appear again while being surrounded.
I want to understand and arm myself."

"I’ve always been a believer. I just believe.
I found my voice. Is me or society."
Politics is all around in his underpants.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Cleo Smith update: Suspected abductor Terence Darrell Kelly moved to maximum security prison
Former Liverpool FC youngster found with £575 cash in underpants
Anita Asante: ‘People say I’m an activist but I just believe I found my voice’

A Shameful Day

Democracy's main entrance is closed
due to a serious police incident.
A woman has now been sacked.

One might say it was shocking
but it corresponds to a pattern of behaviour,
misconduct to overturn the system.

Democracy stops functioning when
government acts to curb participants.
Boris Johnson reacted angrily.

-- Rupert M Loydell

A shameful day for British politics
Woman who glassed Wetherspoons worker has 'lost her career' after being 'sacked'
What you need to know if you have an appointment at Royal Liverpool Hospital today

Global Framework Provenance

Changing before our eyes due to global warming
Advisors say case for urgent action is unequivocal
Damning United Nations report ahead of COP 26

Likely not to have enough evidence to determine
Details of investigation into virus provenance
Analysts do not believe created as a bioweapon

Left to meet two very different leaders
Address describing a framework agreement
Package of entitlements wends its way through the Senate

-- Clark Allison

Cop26: Planet is ‘changing before our eyes’
US intelligence agencies do not expect to determine Covid origins
One year in, and Joe Biden has totally failed to unite America

Splash the Cash

Spending plans have been unveiled.
Boris Johnson’s name is stamped all over
this new post-Covid economy:

Failure to provide adequate supervision
Failure to provide medical care
Injury to a child by omission.

Eat Out To Help Out,
live with skeletal remains,
abandoning public finances.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Sunak promises new post-Covid economy
Rishi Sunak’s high-spending 2021 autumn budget
Couple charged after leaving boys with skeletal remains

Fragile Eruption Consequences

ongoing volcanic eruption pushed streams
fears over formation of clouds of toxic gas
could trigger more explosions flank towards sea

looked down at from space fragile biodiversity hotspots
atmosphere seems thin and world finite
manage and monitor protected areas ecosystem restoration

subtle jab erratic foreign policy decisions
some things on which we can work together
suffer consequences if failure to address climate

-- Clark Allison

More people in path of lava from La Palma volcano forced to flee
‘Earth looks fragile from space’: Jeff Bezos pledges $1bn to conservation
‘It’s a breath of fresh air’: Boris Johnson takes swipe at Trump

Another Painful Hike

Constrictive church-designed garments
leave trail of destruction across the world:
we are experiencing Sacred Underclothes.

In terrifying videos shared on social media
Ms. Piton stopped wearing the garments when exercising.
Church members stretched upwards to breathe.

Some filmed the unfolding tragedy, while others
called loved ones or posted pleas for help.
"We are frustrated all of the time," say scientists.

-- Rupert Loydell

Among Mormon Women, Frank Talk About Sacred Underclothes
'It was hard to breathe': China flood terror as train carriage submerged
Climate fear as extreme weather events leave trail of destruction across the world