Cut-Off Noir Simulacrum

The philosopher of the hyperreal a grand hype
apartment with 50 television sets and pictures of America
even if Baudrillard had not existed

it would have been necessary to invent him
everything was a non-event, an illusion, a simulacrum
part of his legend to loathe all forms of culture

stark noir fantasy world
the colours more radically concentrated
advancing towards the storm-battered coast

--Clark Allison

Did Baudrillard Exist?
'300': Exiled In Guyville, By Kurt Loder
Cyclone George kills two, Jacob advances

Injuries And Chocolate

                --"Use the Force!"

He called me a brute, I remember,
after twice trying to fit handcuffs
around handfuls of my genitals.

I think I did him some injury;
he is putting a spell on my groin.
Now I will have a miserable time

of personal pain and depression.
I have accepted that, and will need
to relieve myself with Maltesers.

--Andrew Bailey

Fears over police attack caught on camera
Football Digest
Woman, 68, who put cannabis in casseroles, guilty

Leaping Accident Investigators

An astronaut's lover burst into flames
after a few anger management classes
and is now wearing a tracking device.

She veered off the runway and crashed
out of New York warehouse emergency exits,
reportedly threw a phone at management.

Asked about the 'crazy lady', her maid
she is going to have to modify her outfit,
mop floors and perhaps sweep them too.

--Rupert M Loydell

Naomi Campbell forced to clean floors
Investigators arrive at Java crash site
Astronaut's Lover Asked About 'crazy Lady'

Nominally Slippery Rehab

security forces committed extra-judicial killings
criticised death squads, kidnapping and torture
they’ll clean it up and resell it

shot on sight trying to cross the border
cracking down on political dissidents
squeezing press freedom to an all-time low

would rather not have sweeping changes at the top level
look at the whites of their eyes and talk vision
what a rock and how out of control recently

--Clark Allison

Sudan genocide highlighted in annual report
Blackstone team due at Chrysler
Bald Headed K-Fed Says He Did It For Britney

Rescue American Lying

Hundreds
of wounded
American survivors quake.

Scooter
Libby panicked
from new mistreatment.

Conditions
trapped beneath
perjury. Childhood killed.

--Robert Woerheide

Survivors plead for help as Ring of Fire earthquake kills 70
Bush acts to save face over care of troops
Libby Found Guilty of Lying

Overwhelmed in Evidence

                fear
        the proof
of secret plot;

                terror
        a result
of Sumatra quake;

                dawn,
        Achilles killing
for meaningful security.

--Andrew Bailey

Show us Diana's murder letters
Powerful Indonesian earthquake kills 70
NATO launches major southern Afghan offensive

Scattered Fake Liquidity

Notebooks and stationery, once products for sale, lay
        scattered
Destruction everywhere, preparing to do noon prayers
chaotic violence gripped other parts of the city

filing difficulties, likely restricted liquidity
       limit its options
didn’t know what to do screaming ‘I’m a fake!’
life unravelled in the public eye

suicide bombing at a long-standing downtown book
        market
wounded bystanders screaming amid pools of blood
        and bodies
two dead on the ground by the orchard areas

--Clark Allison

Killings continue despite Iraq crackdown
'Antichrist' Britney 'attempts suicide'
The Ratings Game

Compared to Diabetes

It is not the work of years
to call the small pebble appealing.
I have the capacity and am not alone.

It is not the work of years
to cajole a lone child into the system
of incapacity it would not look for.

It is not the work of years
to veg out, but Kerry acknowledges
she has hands reserved for chocolate.

--Andrew Bailey

Al Fayed urges Diana inquest delay
Drive to get more benefit claimants into work
Sitting on the diabetes timebomb

Coulter Repairs Suicide

666 divots repaired after giant Ann Coulter thunderstorm.
From Florida to Malibu, across the political seaside,
TV references surface. Seven candidates hang.

Demonic scrawling claims behavior is indefensible.
1,000 giant NASA hopefuls called John Edwards,
described right-wing impasse and erratic damage.

Faggot rolled pundit parties. Took bedsheet, tried
Britney Spears, approximately. Hail! Hail!
Paramedics were called. Luckily, conservative was unhurt.

--Robert Woerheide

Britney Spears Tried To Commit Suicide?
U.S. space shuttle rolls back to hangar for repairs
Pundit Ann Coulter takes heat for anti-gay slur

Bathed in Teflon

Nothing seems to hurt the disappointed
Everyone loves bloviators
Well, not everyone

Co-operation between giants would benefit
A hundred activists say the same thing
Well, not everyone

I-am-who-I-am took a subtle swipe
Still, nothing seems to hurt no one
Well, not everyone

--Rupert M Loydell

Bush declares tornado-hit county a disaster area
Leaders to heal divide
I-am-who-I-am is working

The Pet Career

Andrew is compelled and inspired by darkness
But after three botched efforts is still ridiculed
By people and believes he has little to lose

He is struggling to resurrect his kitten
Higher than seemed imaginable 15 years ago
"I must give it more and more drug," he said

Exposed to everyday fortunes and setbacks
Andrew will eat their heart lungs liver and kidneys
But is also growing cats for the developing world

--Martin Stannard

E17 singer Harvey on Eurovision shortlist
Obesity drug launched for fat dogs
Vaughan relies on basic instincts

Another Chopper Down

Prince Charles made a "hard landing" today.
He handed out traditional combat injuries
in a swift military violation of his wife.

The problem heiress was evacuated to a hotbed
pending family notification and a hefty fine.
She expressed disbelief Charles would withdraw.

Camilla was pulled over late Tuesday night.
There was no word on the extent of surveillance.
Ample coverage could have nasty consequences.

--Rupert M Loydell

Prince Charles visits troops
A New Day For Paris – In Jail?
Military says another chopper down -- Not hostile fire

Atheist's Party High

She didn't sample the food
She was not at risk of catching the illness
She has been placed on medical leave

She didn't sample the food
She complained of trouble after filling up
She appears to be juddering and misfiring

She didn't sample the food
She signed the order creating religion
She shouldn't be allowed to sue the government

--Rupert M Loydell

Faulty fuel calls on rise
Beyonce not at Hep A risk -- Didn't eat party food
High court hears case of faith-based funding

Spontaneous Sell-Off Consequences

killing free radicals only interferes with survival
Critics doubt whether oxidative stress even exists
no effect – positive or negative – on survival

might actually increase the risk of death
a landmark global study has found
does not know how to protect its industries

disavowed some severe capital market restrictions
indicating the flight from global equities slowing
eliminating free radical “messenger molecules”

--Clark Allison

Airbus to Cut 10,000 Jobs Over 4 Years
Overseas Markets Continue Downward Slide
Vitamins could be killing you

Illegal Pirated Genocide

Gordon the Bosnian video-sharing cabinet
Failed to discuss genocide with Bremner
And ordered justice for BitTorrent

Gordon the Bosnian video-sharing cabinet
Exonerated Ubisoft early on Monday
Downloading songs by Muslims

Gordon the Bosnian video-sharing cabinet
Rang the Chancellor to direct justice games
But once rang failed suspects to prevent a reshuffle

--Will Scott

Court: Serbia failed to prevent genocide
Is it legal to impersonate a minister?
BitTorrent to offer movies, TV shows for downloading