Freeview Asylum Troubles

Residents sent on an awayday
during the home secretary’s genocide
fear losing new TV programmes.

Survivors of Boris Johnson’s domestic troubles
declared Priti Patel a ‘direct threat’
in contrast to the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Putin must retune to unlock a new tomorrow,
will head straight to the settings menu
and perform a weapons upgrade.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Why it took the UK a long time to become a Russia hawk
Freeview users must retune to unlock new channel
Genocide survivors moved out of hostel for Priti Patel

All the Zeros

Inflation began as a boredom cure for Boris Johnson
but can viral success ever be a substitute for hard graft
or a spiraling route to a no-confidence vote?

Shoppers find it hard to swallow MP comedians
and the social media mood has turned against them.
Everyone seems depressed and nihilistic all the time.

Supermarket stardom has become a viable alternative
to dog food, coffee and cat food: readers are reporting
shelf shock, and far more pains are now inevitable.

-- Rupert M Loydell

TikTok hopefuls trying to make it big in comedy
Fines issued as PM warned no-confidence vote inevitable
Shelf shock: soaring supermarket prices

Toxic Forensic Controversy

courting controversy need a long-term solution
right documentation horrendous genocide small African
country claimants bizarrely not returned to UK

a toxic political issue struck a deal fisheries agency
salmon and trout relations unravelling
livelihood of northern regions disputed islands

called to reports of a shooting just after 3am
five gunshots and screaming teenage girl
a cluster of forensic markers where the roads meet

-- Clark Allison

Residents heard 'five gunshots and screaming' as teenage girl was hit
Japan, Russia sign fishing deal despite Ukraine tensions
Sending refugees to Rwanda is tough, but it isn’t sensible

Voices are Raised

It’s hard to concentrate at home
but don’t hold your breath:
the floor is covered in shame.

Whatever scientists do now
they will be forever followed
but nothing can make them go.

People speak louder and compensate
so I am decamping to the garden.
This is the only way to work from home.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Shutting the door on crumbs, scattered toys and unmade beds
Study reveals why voices are raised on video calls
Shame will cling to Johnson and Sunak

Potent Preparation Measures

doesn’t allow for that kind of immersion
fever dream enthralling dark space narcotic quality
the experience wasn’t as potent edgy awkward off the street

several convoys of military equipment eastern Ukraine
seen travelling along T2104 highway preparation
for a renewed offensive revelations from satellite images

Putin destroyed ruble heavily sanctioned country’s invasion
measures designed to keep currency afloat
controls on system tough rules on exporters

-- Clark Allison

Russia's economy in tatters as 'Putin has destroyed the ruble'
Ukraine war: Russian forces amass in the east
The meaning of Taxi Driver

A Cold Snap

The public should be told
if the prime minister’s wife
falls as far south as London.

As a result of its investigation
into morally bankrupt individuals,
the government issued a yellow warning.

It seems an insane thing to do,
sending people into icy conditions,
so I think we are seeing breaking disquiet.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Russia Ukraine War: Latest News
Snow falls as far south as London
Public should know if PM’s wife gets police fine

Spring Promises Intensify

Shocking footage of Vladimir Putin
shows self-confessed killer laughing
and saying 'I warned you'.

A lot of freaks and introverts
virtually wrote the job description
for preparing new attacks.

After having a triumphant cigarette
Putin grabbed the last cabbage
to continue his killing spree.

-- Rupert M Loydell

'Tens of thousands' of lives at stake in Mariupol
Jim Kerr: ‘A lot of stars are freaks or introverts’
Shocking footage shows self-confessed killer laughing

Conscripts Support Trajectory

travelled extensively try to navigate visa requirements
trajectory increasing reasonably significant technical work
enough speakers to process them did not have biometric data

preparing for new attacks in the east setbacks troops
invasion turning point new conscripts annual spring draft
consequences of being driven out concentrating new strikes

money-making exercise switch most drivers electric vehicles
spending to support charging infrastructure
more electric chargepoints than petrol pumps

-- Clark Allison

Drivers rage at EVs as chargers to outnumber fuel pumps
Zelenskyy says Russian invasion at a 'turning point'
Ukraine refugees facing ‘Kafkaesque’ UK visa system

Around Global Summits

arrive as ship destroyed for key summits
loss not confirmed by Russian authorities
landing ship near coastal city of Berdyansk

roughly the same size as the Empire State Building
at a safe distance of around 3.1 million miles
hurtle past at a staggering 30,000 miles per hour

stood looking on with hands in his pockets
video shows what world leaders think of global Britain
looked around awkwardly for greeting from French president

-- Clark Allison

ROCK ON Asteroid 2013 B076 live
Johnson snubbed by Macron and other EU leaders
Russian landing ship 'destroyed'

Star Tax Rises

Kitchen Nightmares? There are ramifications
for that, and Gordon Ramsay should resign
in the light of his affection towards residents.

The star hit out at his dream dish this morning,
and so he needs to hand his card in. We can’t have
companies run by people like a tax-hiking Chancellor.

He has shown his true colours by hiding stealth tax rises
in the line-caught seabass with light crushed potatoes.
Don’t be fooled, this was no-regrets UK politics live.

-- Rupert M Loydell

P&O Ferries boss ‘should resign’, MP says
Rishi Sunak has shown his true colours
Gordon Ramsay says he 'can't stand' the Cornish

Mirrorless Rocket War

The last two years have been a bonanza
for professional photographers and authorities
who have been whipped into a new superstorm.

You can't buy cheap apocalyptic destruction
or access Russian siege and shelling videos;
'tightening the noose' is difficult to find.

Because of the number of beds occupied
by a less financially-bruising package,
there's a hole in the middle of the population.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Covid infections in London rocket by almost 50 per cent in a week
You can't buy a cheap mirrorless camera because a perfect storm blew them away
Videos show apocalyptic destruction in Mariupol

A Good Night's Sleep After a Busy Day

Restless nights? You need to try
a visit to Warsaw, as NATO moves
to hit a tennis ball-sized object.

I thought every pillow over my head
was protecting my airspace from Russia.
I felt that freezing feeling, a literal chill.

The nuts and bolts of the matter is
that travelling at the speed of sound
takes some getting used to at night.

-- Rupert M Loydell

‘By 10, I knew all about the impact of a nuclear blast’
UK to deploy Sky Sabre missile defence system in Poland
I transformed my sleep with a speaker that costs less than a deli sandwich

Suspend Collective Deployment

carmaking trio to suspend production and sales
usually avoids commenting on international politics
together, decisions were not excessively painful

a smaller group has its grip on true Moscow power
the appallingly risky collective gamble
seven oligarchs tried to defy Putin politically

Sabre missile system can target fighter jets
deployment of the system Polish counterpart on Thursday
anti-air missile has greater range than its predecessor

-- Clark Allison

Volkswagen and China: risks of relying on authoritarian states
Inside Putin’s circle – the real Russian elite
UK deploying Sky Sabre ground based air defence system

Coming Out Alive

I played tennis one morning and thought
I’d love to write a novel everyone hated,
a kind of a zombies-refuse-to-leave idea.

He always returns to days before the attack,
excels at the execution of modern literature,
thinks there’s a distinction between morality and justice.

People have started to emerge from the ruins,
defying orders at both ends of the building,
seeking safety from an onslaught by the author.

-- Rupert M Loydell

Ukraine war: 'People are coming out alive'
Percival Everett: ‘I’d love to write a novel everyone hated'
Outrage and no ferries after mass P&O sackings

Art Legacy Attacks

Robert Fripp, who looks like a telegenic,
collectible and cartoonish, radioactive Barbie
in a lime green cocktail dress weighs in:

What kind of person shouldn’t it be?
Complicated and fractious, powerful,
devoted to digital cryptocurrency.

Echoing the words of a critic,
tell me what a force entirely of itself is.
Do prog-rock titans have any aesthetic value?

-- Rupert M Loydell

Are NFTs really art?
Robert Fripp on the difficult legacy of King Crimson
President Zelenskyy tells US Congress to 'remember' Pearl Harbor and 9/11 attacks