Ask The Oracle

Precedents are quickly spoiled,
like a cartoon snowball rolling downhill,
a catastrophe guaranteed to keep everyone in stitches.

Predictions are often doomed by someone else's stubbornness.
It seems nothing was learned,
aside from the fact that I was blatantly misquoted.

But how feeble an oracle would I be
if I had no delusional suspicions?
Disappointingly, they are not copyrightable.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Euro Crisis: Is the Currency (Finally) Doomed?
Caught Holding the Facebook Bag
Google is cleared of Java patent infringement in Android

Optimistic Summer Weekend

One who starts out early can run a long way
with a baton, on a beach,
on which the high tides have imprinted a natural timeline.

He describes the way the brightest part of the sky
coincides with the closest show of folksy marketing,
but he won't be superstitious in the 7-Eleven.

Michael Jackson's new video, "the MAking of SODA pop"
reportedly will feature one billion cans of Pepsi.
(Also, werewolves.)

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Zuckerberg Plays Host in New Facebook IPO Video
Michael Jackson To Appear On Pepsi Cans
The Supermoon is Upon Us

Secret Cosmic Nun

Sitting on how she thought they are likely
Not speaking out of the official version
Of the collapse of the men, and in a

Mystery of the reputation of
The leadership, another prostitute,
One. There are extraordinarily powerful

Explosions in outer space. Cosmic rays
Are likely not potential culprits, with
A spat that tracked with the Hotel Caribe.

-- Edde Addad, using the jGnoetry interactive poetry generator

Vatican orders crackdown on American nuns
Escort Recounts Quarrel With Secret Service Agent
Bizarre cosmic ray mystery deepens

Its Day Lasted

wake only patrol the short foolproof when break
sleep purposefully sleep the sheer Arctic where birds
ice rhythm skirts over and cycles the

break iceberg lag into and glaciers the
gripped birdlike who travelers
slept flightless when dinosaurs

circadian perished among or gigantic
longer tipped in and disrupted
devise also shift the each due what remains

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Small icebergs can be the real killers
Dinosaur Egg Fossils Discovered In Patagonia
Why Shift Work and Sleeplessness Lead to Weight Gain and Diabetes

Ministers of Controversy

The implicit promise of changing a story
is to make people notice how dumb it is.
But the group has no inclination to shed its mind.

Like the wallflower dragon whose bullying lawyer
leaked a hot publicity fondue,
winning a palace despite being downgraded

from a pricey crystal nugget to a set of chocolate shoes.
That's one of the perks of ridiculousness.
Everything changes, but nothing draws attention.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Farewell fondue sets: EU tighten sanctions on brutal Syrian 
     regime with shopping and travelling ban on Assad's wife 
     (but there's nothing to stop her from returning to UK)
Etch A Sketch flap cheers Bryan firm
Appealing an MPAA Rating Is Pointless (But Studios Should 
     Do It Anyway)

Always Bill Down

An unlucky defender
rushes emotional aid
attacks sexual frequency

Amorphous dozens
hack left field
heretical members

Franchise love play
pullout group swipe
adult life lasts forever

-- Jeff Nichols

Anonymous claims to bring down Vatican website
Bill  Maher to liberals: Accept Limbaugh's apology and move on!
Manning says "I'll always be a Colt" amid emotional release

Ability of Counterparts

They chase jumping mammals they were paid to dig with.
Serrated insects were tired.  Out after tough sleep,
unearthed a switch that triggered swaps.  Bodies with edges

feathered and springy.  Bonds said to reveal the middle
questions for their ancestors.  They chase jumping mammals.
They were paid to dig with serrated insects; were tired out

after tough sleep.  Unearthed a switch that, triggered,
swaps bodies with edges.  Feathered and springy bonds,
said to reveal the middle.  Questions for their ancestors.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Greece Default SWAPS Don't Have to Pay: ISDA
Prehistoric fleas were bigger and meaner, but couldn't leap
Adults in Their 80s Report Sleeping Better, Says Study

Highest British Trial

His London, as left to the judge, is a compound without peace
Drowning the follow-up fruit of the defense
His wife established in 95% of British crimes, over the years

Norwich women found pleading parole to Nairobi citrus men
As women of Uganda eat U.N.-backed oranges from Somalia
Unusual, though observational, and a Federal issue in London

Gabe, at highest risk, said the judge issued life without acquittal
To men without oranges, due process involving impressive
      pleading
And an ambitious jury of colleagues

-- gabrielle brabazon

Ala. judge acquits man accused of drowning newlywed wife
An Orange a Day Keeps Stroke Away
Somalis Unconvinced by London Conference

Sound of Paying

Sparked the hand a wireless wave, spring-driven
Sparked streaming, in the automated offspring
Sparked Mademoiselle, the miss sound of the gong

Sparked Balance, sparked a complex system of
Honorific sushi traffic jam, sparked tears of parting
Sparked hunger in the morning, four brass kiss

Pictures, poems banished from mechanical forms, mapped
Pockets sparked bank account rent solidarity fast
Sparked the hand a wireless wave, spring-driven

-- Andrew K. Peterson

Pa. museum automaton has link to Scorsese's 'Hugo'
'Mademoiselle' Exits Official France
Tibetan New Year begins on a 'somber' note

Blue Smoke Standing

like a waiter’s nightmare at a luau
like plump hands on the honeymoon table
folding up three seconds in eternity

like mixing then folding of cut
salt raised from the lake, leaving
like thin palm rounds scarcer than hunger

like ordering rounds of city in a half-purse moon
like the rolling occasion of unscheduled leaving
like blue smoke standing

-- Andrew K. Peterson

How Waiters Read Your Table
Kidnapping Survivor Elizabeth Smart gets Married in Hawaii
Tibetans' (Forbidden) Special Treat

Sinking Says Killing

Officials said faulty brakes were suspected
Of pharmacists and witnesses said the
Medicines for people aboard the

Implantation cannot force pharmacies
To a fertilized egg, killing. Officials
Said the implantation of a fertilized

Egg, operator of drugs. The state's
True goal was to dispense such medicine.
A statement by their probe into the implantation.

-- jGnoetry and edde addad

Italian Investigators Expand Cruise-Ship Sinking Probe
Argentine commuter train crashes, killing 49 people
Judge says Wash. can't make pharmacies sell Plan B

49,000 fatal photos

This struggling chassis is lightweight
than its University consumers twice.
Top-to-bottom Marijuana marijuana.

Flash-memory: Experts were over Canadian
Beyoncé. Yes, but of what? Digital motor face
is by hot bod battery revamp.

blood collision will further alcohol distribution
opportunity. Ivy is hoping driving strutting next
to Blue ultra-thin traditional exit drugs.

-- Paul Christian

Beyoncé and Jay-Z Share First Photos of Baby Blue Ivy!
Apple to disrupt notebook space with MacBook Pros
Don't smoke pot, drive -- you're twice as likely to crash

Every Number Positive

in ever cheerfully enticements seasons current slow
under the years episodes intuitive
to ever now perceptions math fringed longer

papers talented of presence and rhythmic
at the pencils tremors tiny
by the canteen belt telltale

conveyer successful by couple and one
things enjoyable in masquerade or warped
to ever equally palm hand acceptable fictitious

--  Glenn R. Frantz

Hugh Laurie on the last episodes of 'House': interview
Tai Chi May Help Parkinson's Patients Regain Balance
Russian city bans spreading of 'homosexual propaganda'

Surrealist Land Grab

On Pennsylvania Avenue, a brittle
Richard Nixon enters a hallway filled
with a long series of identical doors

leading to an empty room. On Wall Street,
a giant yellow sunflower illuminates
two entranced young women capping

a plastic Immaculate Conception. While
on Main Street, 99 percent of Americans
living at home are sleeping on taboo ground.

-- Angela Genusa

Occupy Has Captured Nation's Attention, If Not Its Cities
February 2012 Contemporary Poetry Reviews
Dorothea Tanning, Surrealist Painter and Poet, Dies at 101

a cappella snow

the most petrifying electric lip-sync meltdown
a joyride to the house of his drug dealer leni riefenstahl
a cloudburst that always knocks the wind out of me

an experimental teenage bloodhound psychopath
seizing the murky underbelly of small town america
a vacant government building not far from the train station

visit the ghostly unused offices better even than morphine
large marble letters like white noise that canceled the pain
a west point grad who suffered extensive burns gas-huffing

-- Alana Madison

David Lynch's musical magic
A Virtual-Reality Game To Distract Burn Victims From Pain
As Neo-Fascists Claim Ezra Pound, His Family Says, 'Hands Off'

Big Fucking Apple

a banal 1970s pop tune out of dust cloud blotting
then you read a meme about stepping into the surf of
more hookers, less yoga studios like cool water dropping

allow us to present everything on the other side
he’d heard it on the radio drowns the snarl of traffic
you don’t belong to the evening sky parching

a whiff of intimidation about it spread right through
yellow fields of mustard to flow elegant brief and knowing
unfettered stench of dust and smoke on 9/11 hey, fuck you!

-- Alana Madison

Shit Native New Yorkers Say
Jaipur losing its soul?
Poet is inspired when startled

Inspired by Trash

Billy Collins read a banal poem about
Bollywood, hookers, and yoga studios

the really rude shit new yorkers say
in the room leaves you shaking your head

but a whiff of mustard fills your nostrils
and the shitty poetry flows unfettered

-- Angela Genusa

Shit Native New Yorkers Say
Jaipur losing its soul?
Poet is inspired when startled

Really Shitty Poetry

how difficult it is to write something elegant and brief
the whiff of a Billy Collins poem fills your nostrils
the stench you struggled for hours to get out of your head

shit leaves you shaking your head in disbelief
drowns even the clamor of your own thoughts
a tableau of trash lying about in jute bags

and an orange evening sky in a Collins poem
makes up the backdrop of many Bollywood romantic moments
hey, fuck Collins, and fuck you! how's your mother?

-- Angela Genusa

Shit Native New Yorkers Say
Jaipur losing its soul?
Poet is inspired when startled

Modern Poetry Convulsions

Is poetry living or dead? A frantic friend told
a 911 emergency operator that it had "smoked
something" and was suffering from "convulsions."

Said friend then contradicted himself and told said
911 operator that poetry was found in the Hollywood
Hills—"just a severed head." A survey, however,

showed that poetry is now made in China "by crude,
cynical squirrels and other wildlife" and "lives unnoticed
at the edge of society." Laureates, have a seizure now.

-- Angela Genusa

The dogs on the trail of the severed head
Battle of words over the future of poetry
Demi Moore 'Smoked Something' Before Being Hospitalised

synthetic dante results

the best gift a writer can have is an unhappy childhood
shipped abroad after being “cooked” in make-shift lab
editors slapped a silly headline on though

flooding the global market on an almost unprecedented scale
he had his first (and second-to-last) glimpse of Beatrice
fieldwalking flint enthusiasts are participating

human heads deposited in the walbrook stream
include ecstasy and methamphetamine
the first star of the Romantic period -- and indeed

-- alana madison

Exclusive: Canada's illicit drug export boom
Lively costume drama dramatizes birth of a poet
Recent Archaeomags

Shit Robert Burns Says

My most famous poem is "To Ruth Lily: On Turning
Up in Her $200 Million Nest With Mousie and a Plough."
Who throws a haggis party in Chicago (seriously)?

But, Ruth, O wad some Power the $200 million giftie
thou gie us. Still thou art best, compared wi' me! I check
in on Path in my kilt, an' then send it to Foursquare an'

Tumblr, an' Tumblr auto posts to Twitter an' Facebook,
an' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain an' bagpipes. But
oh! I "get" TechCrunch, but I just canna "get" Harriet.

-- Angela Genusa

A century of "Poetry"
Someone Finally Makes "Shit Silicon Valley Says"
Hoot mon! Louisville celebrates Robert Burns

As Day Falls

There's a point where stories circulate out of our history
and hit back at the rudder that attention draws in space.
These precious patterns that counterfeiters improve:

They fought piracy with a branded cow,
and everyone sells adverts around them.
The warming carbon is absorbing emissions,

especially carbon-14. There's danger in rainfall, chairman,
and in not passing quickly on the freeway.
Therefore, you dream more, and point to the Shift key.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Time to warm up to this study, if we want to stay cooler
Rupert Murdoch Sopa attack rebuffed by Google
Keeping Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream alive with stories, art

dead art horse

Damien Hirst declared dead,
his daughter missing (to murder),
the army bombs grip King Kim.

On all rifles, they defend American paintings.
New York fears Korea’s globalizing galleries,
on and before and after September 11.

Hirst’s disappearance was meaningless.
Simultaneously, keeping most contemporary,
Gagosian might spot a dynasty the capitalist could use.

-- Paul Christian

Hirst’s Druggy Spots Circle World in 11 Gagosian
Shows Kim Jung-un tightens grip on power
Alabama judge to declare Natalee Holloway dead

Aggravated American Children

Two police men club ANOTHER mother,
The Ravens were sporting sexual assault,
but peanut mouths die he child hospital.

Salt growing on her breasts, unclear
He’ll what’s anaphylaxis but approached
to the girl, grabbed her false elbow.

Yes, the crime the woman go detective
Space-age playground and had a dance and
A dance and then a can with him. (He’s 23).

-- Paul Christian

Man charged for stabbings, sex assault at SLC night club
Girl's death highlights allergy safety in schools
GEORGE CLOONEY: I'm Goin' Under the Knife AGAIN

The Obvious Angle

Researchers in the Netherlands have been trying to publish
an insanely terrible play called "The Quantum Misfit."
It's the story of a buffalo, its secret lairs, and its

much more sensible play, "Today Is A Long Way From Now."
The buffalo sets its play on the Sun,
where the horizon is like a spreadable nuclear Disneyland.

However, the Earth, which requires more efficiency than
its solar brother, is developing gradually lengthening days
that can simply be painted onto to any usable surface.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Solar Cells You Can Paint On
More to fear than wonky North Korea
Winter solstice, 2011

That Short Decided

king sugar of freeze over free extending to
hike logs in expire on fast expiring to
trees but thaw that rang and fracas

cathedral and cut that cuts but trinkets
provision the rattling giveaways of
results suspension with bring for your agreeing to

maps and purchase that match and chain
cab the jarring parts throughout
bitter the sputtering rash in

Glenn R. Frantz

Tap twice to fill a void
The Tragic Death of the Temporary Tax Cut
Burger King joins McDonald's in charging for kids' meal toys

Crowd and Bay

Out in the crowd at midday, England's items turn,
like plans and setbacks, and officers who heard
the crowd that song accompanied. Invading a crowd

as a fraction of a crowd beyond its borders, as a species
of function spiraled smoothly out in the bay. At midday,
England's items turn like plans and setbacks and officers.

Who heard the bay that song accompanied invading?
A bay as a fraction of a bay beyond,
its borders as a species of function, spiraled smoothly.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

London Calling: Students Flood Streets to Protest Tuition Hikes
The Band Perry 'So Honored' With CMA Wins, Crossover Success
Cancer treatment shows promise for rapid weight loss

public ashram movember

During the seven months that he wandered in
others a Fu Manchu
did not call 911 staff "bitches."

Into a shouting match with a village woman
who was mixing water in the milk she
listened to the three emergency calls.

A must-read for anyone who wants
to know more about life, leadership
and the mayor did not use the word 'bitches.'

-- alana madison

Spotted: Your comments on Rob Ford's 911 call
The Hippie who became a Prophet
Upper lips go hairy

splendid cut-offs throne

It begins in the morning at a farm house would
take precedence over younger brothers and
doesn’t pursue the matter any further by

Something more majestic than a buck-toothed rodent
whose real name is Martha
of state unanimously approved the changes

Strength, courage, resourcefulness and dignity
Lucy believes she has left an abusive boyfriend
and a powerful symbol in the lives of the North

-- alana madison

Canada urged to swap beaver emblem for bear
Girls equal in British throne succession
Martha Marcy May Marlene: Anatomy of an identity meltdown

Something Crossed Out

There's no place to go any longer.
So, we've no place to attack.
I don't know what would come between

mistaken and its substitute.
It is better to accept the impossible,
to be safe on both sides of the border.

To write down in diplomatic language
the face without the value, truth but no consequences;
thinking much in seven-league havens.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Hamish McRae: Greece will have no choice but to leave eurozone
Clinton Issues Blunt Warning to Pakistan
Cardinals strike first in World Series

angry hunger crisis

There's another angry rally planned for core
demands, including a clothier that nearly was for
lower Manhattan Tuesday - bear one more.

Thousands of employees and japan's education
join the California department of rehabilitation
claiming the CDCR did not address their rage continuation.

Labor leaders, wall street protesters will vent
and metal prices tumbled, lost 1.4 percent
of their five core demands, the lowest different.

-- eddeaddad using ePoGeeS

Occupy Wall Street protesters to join forces with protest at City Hall over education layoffs
12,000 California Prisoners Protest Living Conditions With Inmate Hunger Strike
Asia Stocks Fall as Concern Over Europe's Debt Crisis Deepens

Signature and Anvil

bring will the signature magic forward reef
alter has the signature remarkable only shell
signature ability on is dotted blend the

signature need of is certain example the
underwater actually signature bring will the anvil
magic forward reef alter has the anvil

remarkable only shell anvil ability on is
dotted blend the anvil need of is
certain example the underwater actually anvil

-- Glenn R. Frantz

WISE COLUMN: Start the day with free java from Krispy Kreme
Want to Be More Open-Minded? Magic Mushrooms Help
Fish known as wrasses are found to use tools

suburban swiss republican

a combative tone entered a plea although he isn't
required to at this stage suburban snow-clearing
standards just cut our way out of this hole

the mayor elected on a pledge of the perilous state
in a defiant rose garden as a result of
unauthorized activities is vowing to protect library

branches tame the nation were wondering whether
to slow down the burst left by plows
at the end of driveways now you have your answer

-- alana madison

Toronto ends all-night budget meeting
Scandal at UBS Tilts Talk on Rules
Obama proposes new taxes on wealthy

Misrata Zanzibar Gomez

loyalists mounting fierce resistance
trapped in the town a maze of hills
nearly 200 people drowned and tour

operators for scores of people slung across
her shoulders a "thorough coaching" on the
politics of canadian hockey including scud

missiles that have already launched
the worst maritime disaster in at least 15 years
figures were hiding in the desert bastion

-- alana madison

Gaddafi's diehard secret police dig in
Dozens drown as Zanzibar ferry sinks
Keira Knightley risks rankling T.O. fans with Habs jersey

9/11 Quake 2.0

Two of nearly three people, suspected
to be Americans. Two of nearly three
thousand Americans – a decade ago.

A joint. The prone region. 100 tremors.
A possible car bomb. Common. Some 1,000
quakes of the state. A slight rattling. No signs

of the timing. And the source – even though
it came from al Qaeda – and the method –
common through Europe – names the U.S. city.

-- Sherre Vernon

Vancouver Spared from Harm in 6.4 Earthquake
Al Qaeda 2.0 Behind Fresh 9/11 Terror Threat?
New York cracks down after "credible" 9/11 threat

spotlight gunshots scramble

George Clooney has
no time for
questions turned tables

tearing down the
wall surrounding the
building headquarters on

fire sending “flirtatious"
emails because it
is the weekend

-- alana madison

George Clooney has no time for talk of love life at TIFF
Tory MP apologizes for 'flirtatious' e-mails to Chinese reporter
Protesters in Egypt breach wall, enter Israeli Embassy

Just Hints, Unconfirmed

The tunnels fill, and even foot patrols abandon the city.
Surveillance is slowly cut off, details growing sketchy
as bridges are submerged by the creeping floodwaters.

The plodding news reports. The conference at 2 A.M.
I put the question at the shy feet of an unnamed minister.
Asked him about his threats of forgetting

all information that is uncorroborated.
But, "We do live in the transitional patchwork
of an elusive stability," as the hydrologist said.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Tens of thousands displaced as floodwaters deluge region
Libya's interim PM says battle 'not yet over'
New York on high alert over 9/11 anniversary terror threat

Just Hints, Unconfirmed

The tunnels fill, and even foot patrols abandon the city.
Surveillance is slowly cut off, details growing sketchy
as bridges are submerged by the creeping floodwaters.

The plodding news reports. The conference at 2 A.M.
I put the question at the shy feet of an unnamed minister.
Asked him about his threats of forgetting

all information that is uncorroborated.
But, "We do live in the transitional patchwork
of an elusive stability," as the hydrologist said.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Tens of thousands displaced as floodwaters deluge region
Libya's interim PM says battle 'not yet over'
New York on high alert over 9/11 anniversary terror threat

Rising Ferocious Rebels

The Africane Irene
was erected. That’s
the Tripoli, Libyan area and

Afghanistan, and life-threats once workers
have so far from
Al Qaeda's. All agreed

the priority will also
raise water, fuel and
spread panic.

-- edde addad and charNG

Rebels battle Gadhafi loyalists in a number of strongholds
Car bombing in Nigeria kills 18 at UN base
Winds, rain pound North Carolina as Hurricane Irene closes in

technical treasonous touchdown

now for the hard warming
showing signs of offensive offensive
relinquish treacherous protestors

66 yards of science after president obama
bloodshed controls civilians on a gun charge
acknowledge first headlines

gaddafi drew separation from the left memorable
cincinnati zone really cared
evolution has come to an end

-- Rhoda Penmarq

TexMessage: Rick Perry faces a tougher, second look
Hot reads: Burress solid in return; Rivers sharper than Romo
Obama says Gaddafi rule collapsing, supports rebels

Rhymes—Only $1

Poetry is a garishly yellow Dollar Tree store
in Salem, Ore. You've seen the "As Seen on TV"
ad — a famously cool anti-poet pushing

a superabsorbent poem down an aisle we're calling,
merely, "Gunk." A local poet who writes a blog,
"Knockoff To A Nightingale," is worried about

the high cost of poetry. Living in the toy aisle,
streaked in orange goo, she writes extreme-discount
12-line poems for— wow!— about a dollar.

-- Angela Genusa

Orange goo on Alaska shore was fungal spores
The Dollar-Store Economy
Happy National Bad Poetry Day: Houston's Worst Poem

Wild Lunar Ritual

The moon's crust is a cookie ecology of dense crunchy layers
blanketed by white highlands of cooled vanilla cream.
T, do let's Think about the

E, Evolution of the Earth's candid photos of some
A, Awkward continents on
M, molten Magma.

TEAM of rare animals in tropical jeeps! Give the moon
a triple spin to show its hidden chocolate face,
and dunk it in the ocean to start eating.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Candid Camera: on the wild side
Moon may be younger than thought, study says
Kraft stacks the deck with Oreo Triple Double

Like Growling Under

you the storm would who so thought or
plaster than it looms overnight when left
it the saucers have which so dislodged and

stranger than they slumber often who does
despite the cowboys rainfall methods swept missing the
downpour stranded were in the inside layer that

for the mines prototypes production mash misguided the
of the scowl powder aircraft flop geared the
land collapsed were by the inside landslide that

-- Glenn R. Frantz

3D printing: the technology that could re-shape the world
'Cowboys & Aliens' isn't even good popcorn fun
South Korean deluge triggers landslides, kills dozens

Shielded exile conglomerate

television legitimacy declines
when sessions contradicted
its Average types

weeks of researchers
lower the complexity
of Foreign exile

something was dormant
biggest was blue
that Industrial loss

-- composed with WpN by edde addad

US Stocks Drop As Deadlock On Debt Ceiling Prompts Concerns
Rare Volcanoes Discovered on 'Dark Side' of the Moon
Could Gaddafi go into 'internal exile' in Libya

Honest Seekers In

The incestuous trains
of politicians, the relentless
pitchfork outside the gates.

Newspapers admitted they
had no information. The public
took comfort in bars, in mourning,

until earthquake, tsunami, and
nuclear meltdown, until dignity
chanted its name.

-- Shane Clements

In Japan, an overflowing cup of pride
Music goers, sun seekers, brave high, humid temps
We deserve an honest and uncorrupted police force

Honest Seekers In

The incestuous trains
of politicians, the relentless
pitchfork outside the gates.

Newspapers admitted they
had no information. The public
took comfort in bars, in mourning,

until earthquake, tsunami, and
nuclear meltdown, until dignity
chanted its name.

-- Shane Clements

In Japan, an overflowing cup of pride
Music goers, sun seekers, brave high, humid temps
We deserve an honest and uncorrupted police force

Defiant Robotic Bubbles

The approach of the embattled students was suspicious.
The dwarf family contained no murdered child left behind.
A culture of shame and contrition huddled on the asteroid.

Investigators were pressured to phone the US News.
On his knees, a higher-performing detective fired the probe.
His guardian will be struggling in the 530km-wide room.

Beginning in 2001, they could copy an illegal law.
Defiant, the Atlanta schoolgirl revealed pictures.
Mr. Ceres, in atonement, was released at dawn.

-- Madeline Barnicle

Murdoch's day of atonement
Atlanta Schools Created Culture of Cheating, Fear
Dawn probe orbits asteroid Vesta

Large Game News

Los Impasse, New Mexico plans to study whether
advice leaflets given to bobcats and mountain lions
have any impact on their escape after a mandatory wildfire.

A coyote's license to fish could be posted on streets
as thirsty hands have begun reopening. Also,
a Grand Scale, Minnesota restaurant's new wildlife program

has questioned whether licensing would make economists
any better able to hold their liquor; while
the Depressed Reason Bureau just hands out money to bears.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Study Shows Benefits of Providing Medical Insurance to Poor
If you go down to Los Alamos today...
Minnesota government shutdown costly to state and businesses

Large Game News

Los Impasse, New Mexico plans to study whether
advice leaflets given to bobcats and mountain lions
have any impact on their escape after a mandatory wildfire.

A coyote's license to fish could be posted on streets
as thirsty hands have begun reopening. Also,
a Grand Scale, Minnesota restaurant's new wildlife program

has questioned whether licensing would make economists
any better able to hold their liquor; while
the Depressed Reason Bureau just hands out money to bears.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Study Shows Benefits of Providing Medical Insurance to Poor
If you go down to Los Alamos today...
Minnesota government shutdown costly to state and businesses

The Brief Avenger

the golden register still rings
after the iconic $1 bills have been incinerated,
its heyday to spiral out to intergalactic emeraldhood,

prologue to a renamed movie that argues for loopholes
in the global tabulating of its worried megaplexes,
neither brave nor bloated enough

for the simpler times blandly enjoyed
between the dog-eared and the do-gooders,
the brief avenger that even seems forever-long

-- Glenn R. Frantz

GOP shifting on anti-tax policy
Big Blue Turns 100: IBM's Anniversary is One to Celebrate
'Green Lantern' passable, plausible -- none too illuminating

Beyond The Catskills

I've been to college.
I understand well the physics of flypaper,
and other vast amorphous concepts.

I know how to sing "Hey Jude" backwards,
while carrying spiders down fire escape ladders.
I'm irreplaceable...patiently waiting next door.

Let's ban hide and seek. Let's face jail time.
Let's cause intense emotional distress.
Let's be quirky. Let's tiptoe together towards infinity.

-- Scott H. Stoller

Lives Cut Short by Depression
A brief introduction to infinity
Tenn. law bans posting images that "cause emotional distress"

The Memory Suicide

It’s a little shocking to lose parts of us:
the painful memories and iconic moments
erased in the sunshine of a city beach.

Most pictures die. Constructing a new past
brings welcome relief, rubbing out remembrances
of our three months in San Francisco Bay.

We stand on the shore of mangled months
watching as time disappears below the water,
making no attempt to rescue remembrances.

-- Jenni B. Baker

Pill could erase painful memories, study shows
Happy 85th birthday, Marilyn Monroe
After officials watch man drown, city changes policy

Selling Heavy Rain

Across nations,
expensive war-era simplicity---
elementary guidance,

fabulously exact.
A relaxed anxiety kept it new.
Thought over order,

or order over thought?
Breathe, you discarded suicides,
breathe.

-- Scott H. Stoller

Are you taking too many meds?
Woman selling 'suicide kits' reignites right-to-die debate
Pentagon seeks mini-weapons for new age of warfare

Preparing Statement Tentacle

the inside hides mouth its spoke
pineapple roof blade and nineteen pure segmented
the with misspoke hides its mouthful

thought fakes gills and far curious elongated
smoldering yet cool or hardly
aflutter back fantastical and very

chip plates tablets and sharp flexible divided
the at shovel stalks its jaws
ring screens square and square both befuddled

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Egyptian tunnel town faces up to change
Windows 8: What Should Be, If You Ask Me
Prehistoric sea monster lived longer and grew bigger

Released from Norms

Images of paralysis: misunderstandings,
cultural mores from the waist down
and books being readied for the coffin.

We are entering an electrical era,
a lifetime of unprecedented stimulation,
devices assaulting ankles and knees.

The public’s intensive rehabilitation
kindles haggard steps of regained relief:
An ability to stand. The difference of hips.

-- Jenni B. Baker

Small steps for paralyzed man, giant leaps for treating spinal cord injuries
Amazon and Waterstones report downloads eclipsing printed book sales
Strauss-Kahn ‘Perp Walk,’ Naming Victim Divide France, U.S.

A Bizarre View

Strung border to border
air bound for dehydration
water roped by containers

Good chance to view a problem
potentially unknown, ignore their code
an evolved cat-and-mouse game

Conspiracy inspired, widespread
genetically generating a new truth
engineered theory of a child

-- David T. Snyder

Mexico police find 513 US-bound migrants in trucks
Microsoft: One in 14 Downloads Is Malicious
New book says USSR was behind Roswell UFO

Shaken and Grand

The century is an idealized past, a bad relationship.
Woody Allen films beauty shots of the spectacle,
as people recall the falling towers, the intense quake.

Forced out of their homes, residents find solace
in city streets while nostalgia-minded writers
premiere scenes of chaos in overpriced hotels.

Shooting along the year’s prolific rim, the city
expands living memory past the midnight panic,
opens a parachute and wafts to the present.

-- Jenni B. Baker

Spain: Lorca shaken by earthquakes
‘Jetman’ zooms along rim of Grand Canyon in first US flight
Cannes fetes Woody Allen and ‘Midnight in Paris’

Humiliation All Around

The theory of engineers says, this year the clock will be
the symbol for all objects. The globe a scattered fountain,
twirling in a bowl of perfect brightness.

Now the fleas have become the rat.
French troops drag the Missouri river for a lost horse.
The garden of bitter syrup is looted to spare opium.

Which confluence of mellow predictions
would divert the apple from its spinning?
Demolition will keep the ox out, but does not stop the boar.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

The meaning of Ai Weiwei's 12 Zodiac Heads
Our Opinion: River shows who's boss
Stanford study backs Einstein's relativity theory

Hold The Leaves

A week of strange plates. Bears
sweeping up sapphires
for the farm engagement, a crying pair

of cubs. The protestant tried a “popular
outdoor lookalike” on
worshipers. A replica bear recently walked.

Tian Church sounds its 1000’s | a hugely curious
cub-mother from HONG KONG picks out
a twin souvenir. Dozens of mugs gather in a home.

-- Annabella Massey

Royal Wedding: China's big souvenir takeaway
China detains Protestant Shouwang devotees
Twin bear cubs rescued by Chinese farmer

This Year's Programs

As nobody said, "Myopia is the testimony of the recent
against the many." So instead, I added a history jury.
Most of them didn't swear much,

except for one brontosaurus that had a cynicism deficit.
Unlike "The Loudest Obstruction Diet,"
there are not scads of prizes. (Or a severe skin reaction.)

Al Capone counts to a trillion
while he smiles at a baby grand.
And voilá, the new episode of "Brazen Justice"!

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Barry Bonds convicted of felony
Cannes Film Festival: What Directors Are Saying
Mr. Prudent: Obama Preaches Deficit Sanity

Friendly Push from West Awaits

the mysterious truth:
the space committee
had come this far
to the comfortable kingdom

the champions surrounded
a damaged city
continued a splendid editing
more than one rank load
hints what a month can not be

because the place of birth
that socket of speech
has released control
pressed the reeling host

Thus we closed the unique trunk
those sent to succeed who we could
we are after the keen majority

I gave them of the rain
and the water of the sea

I commence to scope the distance.

-- Jeff Nichols

Congress Awaits Answers on U.S. Mission in Libya
Libyan rebels push west into less friendly territory
Radiation from Japan 'not harmful': B. C. Scientist

Nor Key Fallen

business that
meaning that
scaled in noise the

bottles that damaged be two
meaning that double be parallel might clang to
juggled in safety the modestly gotten

played to basement the together landed
at radio asleep of silent the
with infants unsafe to

-- Glenn R. Frantz

It's the little things that pay off in low-key 'Win Win'
Iodine fears spark panic buying
D.C. airport tower silent as planes land

Racially Disposable Violations

Tea Party untethered
F-18 bigotry.
Pressed

multiday benders found
Mr Sheen
caressing

8 legged women.
Baffled evangelicals
fractured.

-- Dave Stinson

Are whites racially oppressed?
The Disposable Woman
'Spider-Man' Is Cited Again for Violations

Thrown On Purpose

every minute tilt of the frozen cargo
drew knowledge as a spacewalk code to the dexterous
          adapter,
and even so to wrongfully intend a discovery's experiment,

installing a special plate
that the holder did not recommend,
the wrapped camera charged with leaking light

and wantonly removing the second face of the face
from the published proceedings
that with every minute tilt...

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Libya stalemate presents diplomatic challenges
Soldier in WikiLeaks case charged with aiding the enemy
Discovery 'nauts wrap second spacewalk

Last Near View

In this city of sidewalk airbenders the defected century
repelled informal protesters. Are freshly dug graves
really the culmination of teachers’ spit wad faith?

A small history of podium democracy infused
gold witnesses with the courtesy of some plastic siege,
hot anti-aircraft guns exploring the pride of a young curator.

Foretold rebels display scars like a tour of religious artwork,
the gathering spotlights of a new tradition, the city
glimmering in the scrawled evening downfall.

-- Dave Stinson

Razzies: M. Night Shyamalan, 'wins' big
All the Arts, All the Time
Libyan Rebels Tighten Ring of Armed Control

Rebel Coup Decided

A Sunday, Sunday calling. Barricades ablaze, a truck to run
west. The police state, a counterattack. Here hundreds, a
tricolor people chanted, face to face to chest. Some became

free. And Sunday, Sunday, witnesses. From troops,
        monarchy.
Anti-aircraft in the streets, the government, the occupied
palace. The oldest ties to serve the uprising. Independent as

military in July. A symbol, the flag, the state. The former
world is positioned in outskirts calling for Libya's Arabian
Britain. High isolation on a loyal Sunday, hung from light.

-- Sherre Vernon

Libyan Rebels Close In On Tripoli
Factbox: Facts about Oman
No decision yet on presidential run, Moussa says

Night Was Close

I couldn't remember it slowly, this dangerous parade
that commandeered us all, rushing between tables and kiosks.
Folding unveiling fingers like a fork inside a book,

we saw a tomcat grab flames from the pavilion
like video we couldn't touch
or spirits we were not allowed to photograph.

In the sleek red burnish of the cat's pleased back,
aluminum boundaries of the night's razzle-dazzle
constantly rattled, like buses fleeing the fairgrounds.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Evacuees were in good spirits at Agri-Plex
Assange abused my cat: WikiLeaks insider
Up Close with the HP TouchPad

Mummies Buy Electric

I assure her that I am
stopping an attractive woman on
a Bethesda sidewalk and asking

her if she would sleep with me. Markets tend to men,
which has the muscle tone of a yam
souffle. Ordinary people tend to move

in cycles. Are you too
late to the rally? You don't care about all that?
Larger companies, did.

-- Eric Elshtain and Gnoetry

Gene and the Machine: The shocking truth about the Volt
Looters smash treasures and mummies in Egyptian Museum
History Suggests Time Is Right to Buy Dow Stocks

The Demanding Public

new mendacity-husbanding
coalition         thought to hunt
old guard politics

prudently study the overthrow
remnants of social mould
nurture species of error

repeat HARD lessons         cut
the pledge / defend bacteria
the live necessary protests

-- Daniel Barrow

Iraq hangs over Tony Blair
Tunisia's PM pledges to step aside after vote
Slime moulds prosper on the microfarm

That That Measures

Headache to lobby twist held had that itself the work
paint freeze to unanimous it. Headache headache to to
lobby lobby twist twist held held had had that that

itself itself the the work work paint paint freeze freeze
to to unanimous unanimous it it. Headache echoes to to
lobby racquet twist demand held culled had has that that

itself itself the a work thank paint theatre freeze keeps
to to unanimous sheer it we. Echoes to racquet demand
culled has that itself a thank theatre keeps to sheer we.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Sundance Film Festival: a critic's preview
U.N. Resolution on Israeli Settlements Puts Obama in a Bind
South Florida traffic congestion rising as job market recovers

The Negative Plus

In the continuing feud between Visa and Microsoft
to trademark the world's richest dog, one company
issued a warning to allegedly cunning children

who have taken to looking all "3-D":
"We are going after everyone in Japan."
And e-mailed the reciprocal disclaimer:

"3-D art" could be "three-dimensional," but also perhaps
"three-day," as in "a three-day, two-dimensional,
hand-held rubber-stamping event."

--Glenn R. Frantz

U.S. Revokes Venezuelan Ambassador's Visa
Nintendo Issues 3-D Game Warning for Children
Paul Allen refiles to sue the world

Loosely Imagined Relations

"The man who is repeatedly indulging in thinking
is usually bewildered about his experiences."
-- Confucius

"Anonymity was heralded with a cash award,
but who could have collected it?"
-- Anonymous

"Just as eating is a riposte to food,
the attacker of the principle tends to feel drunk."
-- Carnegie

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Assange allies claim scalps in online warfare
Want to Eat Less? Imagine Eating More
China's Confucius peace prize has chaotic launch

Few Nevertheless Pocketable

merely hordes to meddling bought
perfectly rip to scrambling broke
naturally shelves to sliding engage

actually nicks to menacing ripped
in twaddle cans eleven of putative
to angels elevated from capable

boozy surged the that myriad beer
arcane starved the that secret retreat
to matter antimatter with actual

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Partyers rush to stock up on Four Loko
Foreign takeover of Ireland's banks is now real solution
Has CERN made the VATICAN ANTIMATTER BOMB for real?

Cat Food Cooperative

Food has always been an obsession
for the least advantaged in society.
Avoid those obscene holiday pounds!

Never arrive at a bank hungry.
Cat treats are pretty tasty, so
beforehand, have one helping.

Snack with panache on a plate.
Graze on a long trail of austerity.
Remember, cat food will fill you up.

-- Angela Genusa

Savage Austerity
Avoid Weight Gain Over the Holidays
Katie Price is Pretty in Pink

Domestic Cheese Speak

Some 12 million marketing pimps teamed up
with a national organization to devise a plan
called "Cheese Austerity," said the Grand Minister

of Fromage in a statement to The New York Times
yesterday. "No more free cheese!" he trumpeted.
From Philadelphia to Fiji, jaws hit the floor.

Do not be alarmed, said some big cheese who spoke on
network TV, for there is light at the end of the tunnel:
cheesier sex, cheesier drugs, and cheesier rock 'n' roll.

-- Angela Genusa

"Hawaii Five-O": This is what hit TV looks like
US issues warnings on fat but pushes cheese sales
'Let them eat cheese' approach fails to butter up electorate

Hands-free Musical Safety

Here's a quick look at the equation:
Immaterial invisible waves
synchronized clocks.

Attempts at marking the end of time
varied from useless to laughable,
and back we fall once again.

Still, pointlessness seems all so pointless.
We're not a completely made up thing.
We're big. We're splashy. We've got rhythm.

-- Scott Stoller

Sorting out daylight-saving time, time zones, time travel
Kinectrospective: A Brief History of Controller-Free Gaming
Costly ‘Spider-Man’ Can’t Get Off the Ground

Election Day SmackDown!

Everyone, the results are pouring in tonight:
Rod Stewart got voted off "Rotting
and Decomposing with the Liberals";

Mary Poppins and Bristol Palin are safe
from elimination on "Traveling Circus of Fools";
but Taylor Swift is in jeopardy on "Skating

With the Ill-Educated Drooling Republican
Rednecks." Americans, stand up and bow
your heads for a moment of silence: 11/02/2010.

-- Angela Genusa

WWE SmackDown! Results
Who Got Voted Off Dancing With the Stars
Why European liberals see tea party as 'a circus of fools'

Revealing Halloween Trauma

Well, aren’t you a little horror story?
A trick or treating celebrity train wreck.
You're really never too old

to be a victim of hazardous mishaps,
cowering naked and delusional
in Manhattan restaurant bathrooms,

slugging cocaine and vodka
'til your fingers fall off
from the lack of continuous circulation.

-- Scott Stoller

Horror Stories From Space
Teens defend their right to trick-or-treat
Coke and no smile for naked Sheen

On Circling Home

To forget waiting, sun hours walk about the neighborhoods
where years pull. A radio flashlight bending out the orbit
will spot your edge: Clothing safer to paint around.

Don't forget the sun. Always walk on the corner,
where the pull of radio waves bending under the road
will make your heavy clothing easier to carry around.

Don't delay. The palace always turns on its corner
when the mask of homage waves. Cars under collapsed road
miles make stars heavy, as easier astronomers carry on.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Sheriff: Halloween safety tips
Neutron star size determined
Argentina's power couple torn by death

Extensive Strawberry Outbursts

Command promoting buzzwords
have ceased to be cultivated.
Public bad manners

and criminal mischief
created the near perfect storm,
regionally becoming unstoppable.

Feed on reliable apples.
Your much ballyhooed mental health program
is a yearlong trip to Disney.

-- Scott Stoller

11 bodies, one house of horrors
Ex-flight attendant blames 'perfect storm of bad manners'
Before the Mac, Vintage Apples

Alienating Alleged Applicants

Think that we know obscurity?
Some opinions aren't grounded in reality.
Let's separate facts from fables:

We've blackmailed billionaire heiresses.
Swallowed entire empires.
Fused celebrity and forgery in novel new ways.

Raised red flags to the stratosphere.
Supported many sides in a many-sided war.
We're the biggest Achilles' heel of all.

-- Scott Stoller

Five myths about Sarah Palin
The Heiresses and the Cult
Bad online and cellphone habits can hurt your career

Explosive Gay Nun

I am an offensive saint.
I was engaged to World War II,
when the relationship was briefly excommunicated.

Boy George vindicated Bill O’Reilly
and involved a scandalous confession:
Their love gained condemnation of the rural poor.

Australia wants to Intimidate Japanese Muslims;
As a hypocritical nun
I like to insult everyone.

-Laura Beason

Bill O'Reilly on "my explosive" appearance on "The View"
Gavin Rossdale Admits To Gay Fling With Singer Marilyn
Nun whose order fought abuse becomes saint

Era of Fight

September screwed up my life, really.
6 a.m. and I want ecstasy.
“Hit this,” I pushed.

Drugs are monsters, bare and fearsome.
Violating my probation,
I am trapped underground like central China.

I am the majestic cannibal,
the unpleasant animal that bites its brother’s flesh.
Frequent feeding is not only for herbivores.

- Erin N. Sampson

Was the T-Rex a Cannibal?
21 Are Killed in Explosion at China Mine
TI Sentenced to 11 Months in Jail

The Notorious Unlikely

Surreal cartography is a nonchronological season.
It's like nonfiction: true, but unsuccessfully.
(No, this is not really cartography;

I just wandered outside for a second.
Ironically striking exactly the right theme.)
The dream underworld is unsympathetic with this critique.

Joining the Cincinnati Reds with Castro's? Why not?
Even Shakespeare the caustic realist
dabbled in Latin and harmless magic.

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Roy Halladay Throws No-Hitter in Playoff Debut
Peruvian writer/politician Mario Vargas Llosa wins Nobel Prize in Literature
Hungary toxic sludge reaches Danube branch

God Hates Honeybees

Who carried signs such as "God Hates Honeybees,"
"Fag Entomologists" and "Thank God for America's
Dead Honeybees"? Outrageous!

In Iraq, I was irked by a swamp rabbit, and now I am
throwing up at a conference on genetically modified
food that is killing off heterosexuals as punishment.

There is still a certain uncomfortable symbolism when
God, a fag, is decorating the floor with a major murder
suspect—1,000 feet from the free world.

-- Angela Genusa

Don't you know who I am? Obama loses seal of authority
Phelps's 'Outrageous' Free Speech
Possible Cause of Bee Die-Off Is Found

out of office

perhaps       a     holidaymaker
had     chosen     to     set     fire
to   his   ailing   father   rather

than   stir   passions   on   an
excursion   to     france   with
a         reclusive           general

whose         sole         intention
was       an       act       of     vice
in       the     grand       pavilion

-- Richard Mason

NKorea media say Kim Jong Un joins father at drill
West Bank mosque set on fire in attack
Sad end of the 'peerless pier'

Experimental Gossip Condoms

What have our teenagers done? A bad thing?
Their partners help men catch huge new orgasms.
They ask what do sex acts have to do with vagina.

Boys and girls say that vaginal intercourse is included
in their telephone activities. And scientists achieve truth
with a plethora of sexual relations.

Flesh and blood women are more likely to be swindled,
due to the nation’s condoms being better for sex these days.
You know, Americans have become more experimental.

-- Tom Lewis

Gossip from Manhattan & Beltway to Hollywood & Valley
Experimental Sex Practiced More Often Now in U.S.
US teens use more condoms than adults

Mechanical Capital Collapse

Converging hotel death rays singe your hair
and melt your plastic shopping bags.
Your teetering teenage daughters

prefer the streets of Quito to riding the bus alone.
College kids, befuddled by can openers,
are working on solutions.

(A government spokesman said several were wounded
but did not offer any details.)
And do we only have ourselves to blame?

-- Scott Stoller

Ecuador declares emergency as police protest
Vdara visitor: 'Death ray' scorched hair
Are we raising a generation of nincompoops?

Applause for America

America, we're getting a 100% sanitized
version of the country from the media. Why
is that pre-McNugget paste weirdly pink?

America, we're faking media orgasms. What
is with the herd of overhyped pseudo-celebrities,
mass-produced reporters, and glossy quotes?

America, we're crawling with bacteria. What
is with the grime, the reek of decades-old man-sweat?
But hey, high five! The country tastes like chicken.

-- Angela Genusa

Pre-Chicken Nugget Meat Paste
Survey on America's Sexual Habits: We're Getting Friskier
Liberty City's Roosevelt Ivory is a Throwback

Cringe-Worthy American Moments

A national telephone-based poll suggests
that American current events are, uh,
eccentric. Jesus in a pink boa drinking

sparkling Pepto-Bismol liquor in Japanese
karaoke booths, Kanye West in his red
underwear whistling ABBA through his ass,

and Jessica Rabbit singing a crude Chinese
peace anthem with a refrain of "rub me do,
rub me do." All in the preceeding 24 hours.

-- Angela Genusa

Most Americans don't get daily exercise, survey finds
Saturday Night Live Recap: Kanye Scores, Miley Mocked
Big Mac index gives more than a taste of true worth

Bellyful of Meat

These days everything is Six Degrees
of meat: a bust of Kevin Bacon
made of bacon, a dress of Lady

Gaga made of Gaga. I am he as you
are she and we are all a stick of meat
incautiously poked into the cage of a tiger.

Wait - what? I don’t know the poem
you quoted either. I just bid on eBay
for an anti-fur bird made of real hides.

-- Angela Genusa

Philip Larkin Letters to Monica: October 21, 1950
PETA invites Lady Gaga to explain meat dress
Bacon Kevin Bacon - The Six Degrees of Food

White Horrific Sesame

The great white mind so cluttered
by decay the graying boomers will hate
to pay for the beef of unemployment

having stolen the economics
behind their cheap groceries,
Tuskegee, and the architecture of years.

"White folks, hey, we coloreds have taken root
deep in the beef, the country, and his ruse.
We need to focus and prioritize."

-- Eric Elshtain

White America Has Lost Its Mind
Past Horrific Experiments Stir Concerns of Today
'Sesame Street' Was Naughty Way Before Katy Perry

Ah, Sugar Sugar

Friday, the sight of Shakespeare
in a sugar coffin surprised
thousands of pedestrians.

Cardboard consumers—three
sheets to the wind—marched
on slick, high-fructose city streets.

Show some solidarity: Confound
"natural" consumer clogging.
Save a wolf in sheep's syrup.

-- Angela Genusa

HFCS Name Change: Good, Bad or In Between?
5 dead as drenching rains take aim at New England
In Costa Rica, Higher Education Serves the Few

Believing Competing Histories

Vague external threats
confront the galaxy.
An onslaught of biting indignities

discredits nebulous negative notions.
The Better Business Bureau fumed,
then exploded with rage.

With fiercely offensive footage,
proceedings and investigations,
they'll struggle to save the vaunted fables.

-- Scott Stoller

The American dream: Is it slipping away?
Democrats Unleash Ads Focusing on Rivals’ Pasts
Beckham: "Say it to my face"

Assault Initially Asthma

Went for a few kills in the symptoms library.
Students had nerves. Doctors are checking out
the Alaska Student disease. "We can't operate on skin."

NEVER blame relationship acne. She moves
like she has an old terrorized lung dance.
"We have considered the assault a symptom."

Sarah seemed to understand. "We acted
on behalf of the University. But, man,
the witnesses NEVER thought Palin was carrier."

-- Tom Lewis

5 Steps to Kill Hidden Bugs in Your Gut That Make You Sick
Student opens fire at University of Texas, then kills himself
Bristol Palin Comforted by Mom's Presence on DWTS

Dismissing Disturbing Notions

Within yourself is a gaping hole.
So fill it. Reverse the trend.
Experience what's been missing.

Be a billionaire.
Date a chimpanzee.
Try lots of different races and religions.

Explore new forms of suicide.
Go backpacking with Lady Gaga.
You've got a great, great future.

-- Scott Stoller

Ken Fisher Dubs New Normal Idiotic
Ditch Your Laptop, Dump Your Boyfriend
Baby boomers increase midlife suicide rate

Near-Meltdown Prescription Dysfunction

The American Academy of Goats "just say gala"
to the prevention of cruelty micro-blogging messages
(published in "Children, Adolescents, Substance")

a rabbit wearing the October issue links strangely to drugs
effectively working to ride smug bullshit on a hotplate
you could sedate the monkey tobacco cursor page

vast torrents of federal danger in the bears' office
hidden by onMouseOver worm erectile dysfunction makeup
thank you, all prescription medications "WTF [URL]"

-- Angela Genusa

PETA Gala: Pamela Anderson Upstaged by Kelly Osbourne
Pediatricians Want to Restrict Ads for Tobacco, Booze, Viagra
WTF worm makes Twitterers declare goat lust

Sick Monday Diary

Kurt "l8r g8r" Cobain is driving me crazy,
hawking an endorsement—60 times bigger than
first estimated—for the Indians at Little Big Horn.

A waitress is serving a hamper full of Anne Frank’s
couture clothing saying “That’s hot!” Brad Pitt
is lowballing Lindsay Lohan for Gen. George

Custer's 1923 Hallmark card. And Paris Hilton
is burning a Red Cross textbook about hygiene on
a hot plate. Mein haute! What the pun?!

-- Angela Genusa

Lowballing Oil Spill Akin to Custer
Paris Hilton Owns the Phrase "That's Hot"
Happy Banned Books Week!

securing her behind

a         woman         wearing
lethal         leather       pants
that   totally   became   her

walked   into   the chamber
and     spread       her     legs
with       dramatic       power

specifically       to       reverse
the       damage     to       her
outrageous         reputation

-- Richard Mason

HSBC faces top team shake-up amid turmoil
Va. woman executed for slayings in 2002
Ahmadinejad and 9/11 attacks

Cha Cha Cha

David Hasselhoff drunk-dancing in a Speedo
on the dance floor, performing an arthritic cha-cha
on a widely circulated sex tape? Major buzz kill.

Barack Obama disguised as a Tokyo celebutante
allowed to shack up in a nasty airport hotel in New York
disguised as the Airport Hilton? Don’t ask, don’t tell.

Say, perfume lady! The country puts its foot down when
Japan promised—multiple times—the repeal of a long
rap sheet of bizarre decisions, a potpourri of insanity.

-- Angela Genusa

Tokyo Snubs Paris (Hilton)
"Baywatch" Star Hasselhoff First "Dancing" Victim
Barack Obama heckled in Manhattan

Investors Bank Mezuzas

Pharos financial group, a new directive, stamped
in London. A spokeswoman for
the code of silence says the payoff

has been mixed. The investigation of
the world? The world? It's the world? Aimed at a
bank branch of the Father,

the Lord our God, a sovereign state
in the country's total farmland.
Jews leaving a dud.

-- Eric Elshtain

In Mezuzas, a Custom Inherited by Gentiles
Vatican Bank Tied to Money Laundering Scandal
Investors seeing farmland as safer bet than stocks

All Drinks All

you starch once plans demolished plans once starch you
of barreled that one beaches one that barreled of
for allowed that tables turn tables that allowed for

you castle as list bristled list as castle you
it name even bulk misunderstood bulk even name it
you castle as list bristled list as castle you

for allowed that tables turn tables that allowed for
of barreled that one beaches one that barreled of
you starch once plans demolished plans once starch you

-- Glenn R. Frantz

Reading the tea leaves on O'Donnell vs. Coons in Delaware
Step Aside, High Fructose Corn Syrup
NYC considers banning smoking in parks

Rambunctious Growth Reform

It is too soon to know
if night is a deficit nation
programming the planet.

Bears are such fickle suitors at sea.
In the fight for tenure,
Death escaped unhurt with hostages.

Rip currents come knocking
up November under squared marriage
and the hated pull-out.

-- Travis Macdonald

Hurricane Earl threatens holiday travel plans
Boxer, Fiorina Trade Barbs in First Debate
Discovery Channel hostage-taker hated programming