Important Stationary Awards

Wow! Man! Over the weekend a stationary bike
broke the world record for most irrelevance.
The old record was set last year by Beyonce.

Stalled on a road to nowhere, a spokesperson
repeated the words "road map" nine times
in a pair of shorts, made it clear that police

were no longer interested in dysfunction,
were done with his ride. I have always dreamed
but never, ever this big. Thank you so much.

--Rupert M Loydell

Man Pedals Way into Guinness Book of World Records
Rice is stalled on a road to nowhere
Beyonce's 'Dreamgirls' wins Golden Globes